Love is a Vehicle for Oneness
Spoken by Sadhguru
"But it is burning up the limited that the possibility of the ultimate enters our lives.
Defining love. Let's look at the various forms of expressions that love is finding, first of all. For most people in the world love is just a mutual benefit scheme. People have different kinds of needs: physical, psychological, emotional, social, financial-various types of needs.
To fulfill these needs, 'I love you' is always a good mantra. :)
Without that mantra, many doors will not open for you.
So that is one level of thing. But fundamentally what is this thing that we are calling as love? Somewhere the way the human being is right now, no matter where he is in his life, no matter what is, what he has achieved in his life, somewhere there is a sense of insufficiency. It's not enough the way he is. The way he is right now is not enough. He wants to include something else as a part of himself. To make himself more complete. So, love is a huge longing to include the another as apart of yourself. If this longing to include the other as a part of oneself, when it finds an emotional expression we are calling this love. If this longing to include the other as a part of yourself, finds a basic physical expression we call this sex. If this finds a mental expression it gets labeled as greed, ambition, whatever etc. All these are just efforts to include something else as apart of yourself. Isn't it?
That which is not you right now, you want it to become you. This is the longing of love.
So, it is just an emotional expression of the same longing, which a human being is constantly longing for. To include something else as a part of himself. This starts from gathering simple things around him to seeking spirituality or god. The same longing to include something else as a part of himself. The fundamental longing to have a larger slice of life than what you have right now. That is the longing, isn't it? Somehow the way it is is not enough. You want to experience life little more than the way it is right now. So this longing to include the another as a part of yourself-is love. Emotionally, how much ever you make this effort you get close to that. You're almost there many moments but next moment, it falls down. It doesn't matter how intensely you approach it, you will see you're almost there, and it falls apart, you're almost there, it falls apart. So, it gives you a taste of oneness but never establishes you there.
So...love is just a vehicle for oneness.
What you're longing for is that oneness. Emotion or love is just one more vehicle to get there. But, it is a vehicle which takes you close to the other bank and turns your around. Close to the other bank and turns you around. Never lands you there.
So, when you get sufficiently mauled by the process of love, you will be ready for grace.
What is called as grace? Anything that I say will be misunderstood.
Because what is not logical and physical cannot be put into language.
If we want to use an analogy, gravity is one aspect of life. We are sticking to the planet right now because of gravity otherwise we would be floating all over the place. We have a body today only because of gravity. In other words, we cannot gather this body itself. So, gravity is one aspect of life which in a way, is related to the fundamental instinct of self-preservation in a human being.
There are two basic forces within you which are constantly functioning which seem to be in conflict with most people. It is not in conflict but most people see it as in conflict. One is the instinct of self-preservation, which compells you to build walls around yourself to protect yourself. Another part of you is longing to constantly expand. One is trying to build walls, another is trying to expand. The walls of self-preservation that you build for today are the walls of self-imprisonment of tomorrow. Isn't it? Isn't it so? Many limitations you establish in your life as a protection for yourself, tomorrow you feel as they are imprisoning you and you want to break it and build a bigger prison for yourself. But the day after tomorrow the same big prison feels like a restriction and you want to break it and go to the next stage.
So, these two longings, one is to preserve yourself, another is to continuously expand. These two things are not opposing forces, these two things are related to different aspects of who you are. Self-preservation needs to be limited to the physical body. It's only your body that needs to be preserved.
Everything else can be mauled and demolished and rebuilt every day.
Everyday in the morning you can actually get up a build a whole new personality if you want. But right now your instinct of self-preservation has extended itself to the very way you think, feel and understand life. Isn't it? All the time you're trying to protect that. But self-preservation should be limited only to the physical body. Only the body needs preservation, everything else can be reshaped and recreated as you wish, any moment of your life.
So these two forces because they are in conflict or they seem to be in conflict, there is a whole problem about all these things that we need systems and systems to seek spiritual process.If only ones instinct of self-preservation if one learns to keep it just within the body not extend to other aspects of life Only because he is restraining it because his instinct of self-preservation always tells him 'this is not safe, that is not safe'. Right now the way you think the way you feel your values, your morals, your ideologies, your religion. In this there can be now expansion. Every human being on the plant will be spiritual and ultimately get to his nature. Only body has to be preserved. Everything else is open to everything else. Right no the way you think, the way you feel. all these things they need to be preserved. Now in this, there can be no expansion. Suddenly there seems to be a conflict.
So, if we have to use an analogy gravity and grace. Gravity is trying to hold you down, grace is something that is trying to lift you up. This is only an analogy. Because grace cannot be explained that way. If you are released from the physical forces of existence then grace bursts forth in your life. It is not that grace has to come in your calendars and in your pictures. As gravity is active, grace is constantly active. It is just that you have to make yourself available to it. With gravity you have no choice. Anyway you're available to it. But with grace you have to make yourself receptive and available to the forces of grace.
So, all the work, whatever kind of spiritual work you do-whether you do prayer, puja, asana, pranayama or whatever you do, ultimately you are just working towards making yourself available to the force of grace. Because without grace, you won't be lifted up. Which way you approach it depends on what your exposed to what kind of a person you are. Whatever you are doing you are just making yourself fit enough to be available to grace.
If you have the right kind of eyes, everything is absolutely beautiful."
By Dayna Holli
I can't count how many times I've listened to this passage by Sadhguru. So many that I've decided to write it out for you to read which has now made me listen to it another 25 times at least. :)
How many times have you read or heard that love is about giving? Because it is. What about 'love needs nothing in return'? Because that is absolutely true.
How is your currently relationship with your self and/or your partner? Are you counting what your significant other does for you in your relationship? Are you keeping track? Is it equal? Is it a mutual benefit scheme or something way beyond? There are many relationships I am sure, that have gone beyond 'mutual benefit scheme'. But there are surely many relationships where two are just looking to 'get something'. It is time to examine that and look further.
When I was growing up my dad used to say to us kids 'don't maul the cat'. I can hear him saying it now. In other words don't irritate, bother, annoy the cat etc. I guess I laugh because I know very deeply what the word 'maul' refers to and what emotions being 'mauled' can bring up to the surface. So, when I hear Sadhguru say 'So, when you get sufficiently mauled by the process of love, you will be ready for grace.' I am 100% understanding of this--I have BEEN THERE and now watch the process of love and grace beautifully expand and unfold. It is a place of peace for me.
In the past I have felt the desire to make objects and attempt to make people apart of myself but that doesn't exactly happen with permanence. I've longed and ventured painstakingly to make things apart of myself and my identity and merge into people. It is the merging that we can almost all relate to. Falling into something or diving into someone without abandon, completely vulnerable and free is magnificent. It's stunning to be in that space but even more stunning to be in that space when you cultivate it with nature, the earth and all beings, which is more of what the idea of grace is. Opening up to the divine channel of love. That doesn't mean one cannot open up to grace if they are in a partnership. You sure can, you just have to drop some boundaries and beliefs.
It is true that when the emotion of love is restricted solely for one person that relationship can be powerful and amazing and also bring challenges. Of course this reason is because you may imprison yourself with the idea that this is your one 'source' of love and maybe you rely on that person for your happiness. For some people they may have multiples sources of love or are just loving by their own natures. Being open to grace means you are fully open to love, everywhere. (In my opinion) When you are consistently open to love everywhere and giving to all beings then you eventually able to channel grace.
It is in the space of grace where you need nothing in return because you are fulfilled.
May love and grace bring you to places you've never been.
Love & Grace,
Dayna